I have been just wandering through some old entries and found the one about Mr. Skunk.

ROFLOL!! I needed a good laugh. You wanna know the whole story about me, Wackowoman, Undieman and Mr. Skunk?

Go HERE.

Come back and tell me what you would have done!!

So, if you read the preceding post, you know that I have been struggling with bitterness and a resentment because my parents are building my sister and her husband a new house. Decked out with brand new appliances and mostly all new furniture as well.

When I think of it now, I still get a twinge of resentment, b - u - t…

Our church has been hosting a Prayer Conference this week. It’s mostly like a much-needed old-fashioned revival with heavy emphasis on prayer. But man!! Has it been just awesome!

Last night Sis was there with her unsaved husband, and as the call to the altar came she was almost the first one up there. I moved over from where I was and knelt down with her. Her prayer went like this: “Please save him, Lord. Let him come to You, Lord. Please, please, please save him.” Over and over she pleaded through tears of heartbreak.

And then my heart broke also. The resentment I’ve been feeling came immediately to mind. Then it just kind of rolled off of me. I prayed for forgiveness for the feelings I’d been keeping worked up in my mind, just festering and growing more putrid. Then I prayed for Sis’s husband, Dale. I prayed for Aaron, the long-time friend of my boys who at 17 is awaiting the birth of his child by his girlfriend…. whom he recently asked to marry. She’s not yet 16.

I prayed for my cousin. I referred to him in the past as Baby Boy since he’s now the last of 3 children in his family who has not died tragically and way too young. Mike is about 1 year now out of jail for breaking & entering and theft. While in jail at the age of 30, someone ministered the gospel to him and when he was released he proclaimed that he’d turned his life over to God. We have all wondered since Mike’s whole family is prone to making grandiose statements and “pretending” to be things they are not. But… thank God, it seems that Mike really has become a new creature in the Lord. However, I’m sure he is struggling. It’s hard to find work when you’ve been convicted and jailed for stealing. *sigh* Besides that, his parents even after losing their two daughters to drugs, they have failed to change their lives. And Mike has to live with that kind of conflict. (Maybe I’ll post more about this later)

I have a heavy burden for these people. My heart breaks to think they may die without knowing Jesus as their Savior. There are some people here, in cyberspace, that I hurt for knowing they choose to reject God.

I have been seriously negligent in my duty as a child of God. I am empty, like the broken vessel that I am. I’ve fallen (jumped!) out of the Master’s hand and I lay broken in pieces on the floor, all of my contents spilled and wasted.

Have I gone off down a dangerous path? Did I start thieving? Am I polluting my body with drugs? Did I break my marriage vows? Have I turned my back on my children, refusing to be a proper mother to them?

No. I haven’t done any of those things. I am thought of as a “good woman”, I suppose by those who don’t know me. And yet I have failed God terribly. I am a failure as a ‘Christian’ which means follower of Christ. I have not been following Jesus’ example of humbleness, of devotion, of forgiveness, of mercy and love.

So I guess I just want to apologize. Maybe someone’s come by here and read some petty rant and not seen Jesus in me. As much as one can or cannot “see” Christ in a “virtual” person online. I am still called to be a witness, a portrait, of Jesus. I’m still duty-bound to make sure people see Jesus in me.

Shall I start “preaching” at everyone I see who is ‘blatantly’ going against God’s word? No. Lord, let me never be that kind of person, for it simply drives people away. They want to escape a person like that and they hurry away thinking they were right, God really is just a hard task master, a rule meister.

I want to just show kindness to everyone. If the opportunity comes up, and it often does, I can then share precepts of the gospel in the comments I make or the answers I give.

I just want to repair myself, by reading my Bible more and praying much more. I want to be a tool the Lord can use. Not a broken gadget that is good for nothing.

……

Hmph. I dunno how to close this post. Maybe I should just sum this all up by saying that the feeling of being rid of the resentment is such a wonderful sensation. It’s like coming out of a room filled with fire pits where it’s humid and horribly hot into the fresh air and a cool breeze touching your face with blessed relief.

Resentment: $frown lines and depression
Jealousy: $bitterness and stress
Having Jesus remove ill feelings and attitudes: PRICELESS

Love to all,
g~

*heh* Actually, I just thrilled with how these pix came out.

If you haven’t already guessed, this is the soon-to-be-newlywed couple. I took these one early evening in Mom’s front yard. The first one will go in the paper for an announcement. The other one will probably be displayed at the reception and of course, it’ll go into a scrapbook.

*hee, hee* Yes. I am alll about the guilt!

Seriously, it’s mostly MY guilt for not being a better blogger! What can I say? Life happens!

Of course ya’ll know the bulk of what my life’s been about lately. As the wedding draws closer, so do the nerves to the surface of my skin. Nothing in particular is bothering me or stressing me about it. It’s just that “drawing closer” part that kinda makes me a li’l more wired than usual.

Actually, I’m looking forward to the kids finally getting married. It’s been a bit of a strain with the living arrangements as they are. No, I mean, we all get along fine, but I know it’s been a bit stressful for Corey to be living down there with my parents. Working with his papaw all day can be strain enough on one’s nerves sometimes, but now Corey has to go home with him, too.

And for Casey, hitting the turbulent mid-teen years and having this kind of change along with other issues with friends, well it’s just been a bit more tense than it might have been otherwise.

For Mel, having to move under stressful conditions, look for a job, get used to living with us buncha kooks. *heh* That’s strain the most sturdy of constitutions!

For me and Tommy? Well, that’s been a tad tedious, but not a lot really. There have been some awkward situations, some tense moments, but overall it’s not been so hard to adjust as I was afraid it could be.

So now it’s just working up to the wedding. Which is like 70 days away or something. I’ve stopped looking at that countdown thing because it freaks me out every time! As long as I know what day it’s on, I should be able to show up, if not in one piece, then with all the pieces in one container. lol!

Other big things going on is my sister’s house being built. This one has been a struggle for me to deal with because my parents are building it for her and her husband. She will have almost all new furniture, new appliances, tile and hardwood flooring throughout, a jacuzzi tub, and probably all the landscaping and a blacktop driveway before it’s all said and done.

They’re buying it all. The one stipulation for this from the beginning was that it would be in Sis’s name only. Not hers jointly with her husband. I know that sounds kinda harsh, but good grief!! They’re financing the whole shebang! I don’t think I’d be willing to put a house and land in anyone else’s name save a relative’s!

But the biggest thing is the trying to deal with the twinges of resentment and jealousy. I mean, my parents deeded our near 3/4 acre lot to us. I won’t say “and that was it”, because that would be totally the most ungracious thing to say! And we’ve always been grateful that my parents could and were willing to help us with that. Otherwise, we might still be living in a trailer somewhere or in some cramped little subdivisional house.

There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but we’d always dreamed of having a house of our own with room to ‘breathe’. But we got the financing, etc, etc, on our own. I’m sure a lot of this whole do more for the baby than the eldest stuff comes from that fact that my sister has always faced a lot of mental challenges in her life. She’s very gullible and unorganized. She struggles with understanding the things that are common and ‘facts of life’ for most of us. And for the past 12 or so years, she’s begun to also struggle with physical problems that come from being epileptic from age 3 and all the lovely things so many drugs can do to you over 33 years.

Her husband is not a very self-motivated type of person. He doesn’t know how to do and fix pretty much anything the way my husband can. He doesn’t really think beyond the moment and being 10 years older than my sis, he’s a very sedentary sort of man.

I’m sure my parents feel they “have” to do this for my sister. As if buying her a very nice mobile home and setting it up, landscaping it, supplying electric, water and such to it for nothing wasn’t “doing” enough. Not only that, the two of them have lived there for 2 years without paying one dime in rent. As if buying her her own new car about 9 years ago wasn’t “doing” enough, paying it off, paying the insurance on it, etc.

*gah* I know I could just keep on whining and bellyaching and getting all riled up about this, but that’s not really very productive. It won’t change anything except to make me feel worse.

I know that. And I know that I have to move on and not let this eat at me. But when Mom wants to tell me ALL about the new dining table she got for Sis’s new house or asks me to help talk Sis into or out of some crazy color combination… well, it just hurts. So… now you know more than you wanted about that, too.

In other news, our garage is going up, up, up! The floor is poured and the lift is installed, over 3/4 of the outside walls are up and two for the downstairs storage are all framed up, including the garage door for the “mower room” and the doors into the rooms. The plumbing for the bathroom is ready and progress on that stuff is made almost everyday. Tommy and his dad have been working at it pretty hard in the evenings with Casey occasionally out there working with them, too. (don’t ask me about that… I think it’s a very uncool situation that the boys don’t help with the garage, but apparently there was some ugliness that passed between the three of them when Tommy first started working on it that I haven’t been let in on. I just don’t ask)

So here are some pix of the garage… I have more to add, but no time tonight. I gotta get to church in a few, so enjoy the update as best you can enjoy pix of construction. *heh* And thanks for coming by to see me. REALLY. Thank You!!

Here’s my widda Tucker, all happy to be outside in the sun and running in the grass.

I’m tellin’ ya’ll… it’s about pathetic how much I love that little dawg.

Sorry to anyone who’s still coming by here. Things have been so nuts. And really, is it all so unusual? Isn’t my life usually pretty chaotic?

So what’s happened to me? Why can’t I keep up with the blogging lately?

Simple answer? I’m really not sure. Probably the usual combination of things, I guess.

The complicated answer? Well, okay… here you go…

• I just haven’t been feeling the best lately. Both physically and emotionally. It’s hard having the household split up and rearranged this way sometimes. More on that later, perhaps.
• My boys both had their birthdays. April is always such a chaotic time. Casey’s birthday is on the 2nd, Corey’s on the 16th, then there’s tax day which happens to also be my sister’s anniversary, too. (why she adamantly chose to be married on April 15th is beyond me!)
• Our 4H Shooting Sports Club is getting lots busier now. Since Tommy and I are certified coaches, as well as Casey being certified as a Teen Coach, we are UBER-busy with the club. We’ve had to have several coaches meetings and about 3 sign-up meetings with the kids. Now we’re ready to start the safety training which is of utmost importance!!! It’s very enjoyable as it’s such a unique type of 4H club, I just hope I can keep up!
• Last, but certainly not least… I’ve become an addict. No, I’m not popping pills like Greg House. I’m not gambling. But it IS a game I’ve become enslaved to. And seriously folks, I am SO not a game person. The only game I have played that was in any way addictive to me was Flinty Flush! LOL!

  But now? Well… I wouldn’t have ever thought it would happen to me, but *sigh* I’ve become addicted to Pack Rat . This is the most seriously fun online game I have I’ve ever played!

  It was developed in large part by the mega-coolness of the chefs over at Icon Buffet. As you may recall, I am also a huge fan of Icon Buffet and all their cutely awesome icon sets. Oh, did I say FREE cutely awesome icon sets? No?

  Okay then…. THEY ARE FREE!! People, if you haven’t ever followed any of the past links over to
  

  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??

  It’s only available on Facebook, so click the link, search my name and sign up to view my profile. When you get there, look for the PackRat application or the tiny wedge of cheese. Be sure to add me as a friend so we can play together and I can help you out if need be.

  Yeah. I’m inviting you into the addiction that has held me hostage. Um, well… er, I’m just sharing. That’s what. I’m sharing um… an interest with you. Yeah, that’s it.

Okay, I may come back and finish this up a bit better later. I have some errands to run today and it’s just gorgeous outside!! I just wanted to get something up here and I’ve worked on this post alone for quite a few days. What a sad state of affairs, eh?

Casey had his birthday this week. Wednesday. *sigh*

I guess I survived it okay. *heh* I tried to fix him a cake, which I’ve done NUMEROUS times in the past, but this one? No. It had to be snotty! The thing stuck like glue to the bottom of both my pans (yeah, yeah.. I greased!) and there was NO filling-the-hole to be done.
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Obviously, I’m working on the site. For many weeks now, I’ve been searching for a nice new template. And I actually found several…
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Now, now, ladies and gentlemen. Get your minds out of the gutter! I’m referring to the fact that I’ve been feeling a little bit better this past week.
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Memory Monday, right? (remind me… heh!)

Once long, long ago when my boys were still sweet little darlings and young enough so that a case of the snotbrats could be construed as cute, we were making an errand run.
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